I'm watching Glee...the episode where they're honoring Finn (Corey Monteith)...and his mom just said something that hit home... "I used to see it on the news, and I'd shut it off because it's just to horrible to think...I used to think to myself 'How do parents go on after they lose a child? How do they breathe? How do they wake up every morning?' But you do wake up, and for a split second you forget...and then you remember...and it's like getting that call over and over again...you don't get to stop waking up..you have to keep being a parent even though you dont get to have your child anymore..." I remember doing that when the Sandy Hook shooting happened...I shut off the TV and cried. I picked up my kids and held them and I prayed for all those parents who didn't get to hug their kids anymore. I remember thinking that they were the strongest people in the world, I couldn't imagine going on if anything ever happened to one of my girls...and here we are now...now I know that it has nothing to do with being strong, because I'm not...it's been 34 days and I feel weaker than I have ever felt in my entire life...waking up doesn't happen because you want to, waking up happens in spite of what you want, breathing is involuntary, that's just physical science...no choice there...and it hurts so bad to breathe...the pressure on the heart is unbearable with every breath...we go on because there's something bigger than us forcing it.
Posted by Sky Buck