Because He Lives

I know I will get to hold you again. I know that I will see you again. I know that you aren't really gone, and that you are a wavelength away under bluer skies, running through greener grass, and so very very happy. This knowledge doesn't make missing you any easier, it doesn't dull the ache or dry the tears, but...its a lovely thought.

Holidays are hard. Yesterday was Easter. Jason is more of an Easter person than me. I get hyped up over Christmas and fourth of July, Jason shines brightest at Easter. This year was different. This year, someone was missing. This year was the first year that we have had Easter without Khyri. Me and Jason got together in may of 2012, so Easter had passed. Khy was two weeks old at Easter 2013 and obviously a year old last year. The air was heavy all weekend. I fashioned a basket and took out to her, three eggs with messages we wrote on them and a stuffed bunny rabbit, some fresh flowers. We colored eggs at my brothers house, as usual. We did Easter dinner with the family as usual. But the air was thick. Eyes were soggy. The laughter seemed forced. Holidays are hard when someone is missing. I tried to focus on the whole significance of Easter, on the resurrection and the amazing gift of forgiveness and eternal life that we were all given...but its hard to be in that light from such a sad place. I hope God understands that we're not ungrateful, that we miss our baby, and that it taints everything....

holidays are hard...
someone is missing....
no offense Jesus, but
I just want my baby back....



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