Maybe She Knew...

It's Christmas...and it is SO hard...so hard to stay positive and not let the sadness just swallow me whole...so hard to not be bitter and angry on such a happy holiday.  I'm trying to be thankful that I got to have a Christmas with her at all, because there are so many families out there who dont even get that...miscarriage, still birth, infant death...so horrible to even think about...and it's hard to think in such a crappy situation as this that it really could have been worse.  

Me and Jason were talking earlier, while we were waiting for Khaily to go to bed so that Santa could come.  We decided that she knew....because babies can still talk to the angels...and maybe she knew before we even got her, that her time would be so short.  Maybe that's why she was such a sweet smiling little human to every single person she met.  She knew she only had a short time to make an impact.  That's why she hugged me different that morning. That's why it happened when neither of us were there to see the horror. We like to think that her and God had a conversation before she came...and it went kinda this way...perhaps...

God: "It's time for you to go to Earth, but you are a special soul, so I will bring you back before the world can tarnish you...in exchange for this short life you will have, I will let you pick your parents yourself."
Khyri: "Look how happy that little girl is! Can I share her parents God? I just know that they will love me the best."
God: "Yes child, but knowing that you are coming back to Me soon you must make sure that you love them as much as they love you, hold them tightly, and be the sunshine in their lives, so that when I bring you back, they willl have only the most amazing memories of you, and you will impact many lives...they will be very devastated when I bring you home...make it worth it."
Khyri: "Okay, I promise, I will love them my very best."

And that's how Khyri picked us.